Two free birds

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.--William Blake

Happy Thursday and Happy New Years Eve!

Wordless Wednesday

Sunset

My fave thing ever, everyone say it with me: "SUNFLARE"...on the way home from my day in the park I caught this and it made me happy.

no title

More from my wonderful day in the park...Pretty fascinating tree...Not sure what this is hanging from it, moss? Point is it was beautiful, ghostly, caught my eye and I had to capture it...

Happy Monday!

Bridge

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”

My walls r coming down...

Time Travel

Went to a park here and ran into some beautiful scenery...this one in particular sort of made me feel like I was looking at what the world looked like during prehistoric times...simple, natural, God made scenery...His hand is all over this place. I enjoyed this day so much...Me with NO kids, enjoying myself, enjoying all that I saw and love!

Beautiful.

Happy Saturday, I pray everyone enjoyed their Christmas and celebrated the REAL reason for this season.

42 of 52 Full of Emotion

Happy...sad...content...confused...all at once. I enjoy being a girl!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Wordless Wednesday "Mi Cielo"

SORRY this is late...had a full day of NOTHING to do yesterday with NO kids and I took advantage of that but forgot to post the pic. :)

41 of 52 Reflections

Reflection theme going on I guess right now...For the 1st time I am really looking at myself...faded, blurred, distant but coming slowly into focus, clearer...I'm not hating myself as much. I'm learning to be happy on my own terms and not because I was told to do it a certain way, but because I am a grown woman with choices. My self esteem issues have played a major role in my obscurity. Daddy issues as well...I'm a daddy's girl who always worries about what he thinks about me or my actions, and I fear his disapproval, his disdain for my choices, his judgment. I'm a woman, with 3 children, when am I going to realize it's OK to make my own mistakes or choices in life, that only God can Judge me? I'm learning...

Wordless Wednesday

40 of 52 "Trying to Come Out"

TGIF!

Rain Rain Go Away

This has nothing to do with rain except that it was taken on a beautiful sunny day. Stuck in doors today! BLECH.

This lil child of mine loves to tempt fate and never likes the outcome (obvious by the squeals that come out of him thereafter)...Part of me knows he loves it though.
Friday is on it's way!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

My Sleeping Prince

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
- children quotes by Angela Schwindt

Happy Tuesday

Sidewalk Lingo

I'm sort of out of it today...maybe it's all this rain, I never did well with rain, it always keeps me in a melancholy state of mind. Today I welcome it.

Saw this the other day while I was location scouting in YBor city, made me chuckle:


Enjoy your weekend, I'm going to go lay down and listen to the rain...If the kids let me.

39 of 52 "The body is art..."

From every curve and line to every mark painted on by time or circumstance, the body can tell a story of love or self hate, it can move in rhythmic dance, it can take on pain (a woman's body at least), in some cases it can give life. We are fearfully and wonderfully made!!!

Enjoy your weekend!

Full Moon

Went outside the other night to let the dog out and looked up to see this:

I've never seen a ring like that around the moon, quite beautiful.
Happy Thursday...WOW Thursday already?!

Wordless Wednesday Dec 2 2009

Architecture

Went down to a place here in Tampa called Ybor City...Location scouting for an upcoming shoot I have in January, and boy did I get some great shots!!!! Great ideas too! Came across this building while I was about to cross the street and it called to me, the way it towered drew me in and I had to grab the shot...I'm not even sure what's inside the building, I just know it's old and I love old.

Happy Tuesday!

That time of year again

"It's the most wonderful time of the year" I LOVE Christmas and it has NOTHING to do with gifts. Although as a kid that's ALL it was for me. lol. It's the day we celebrate our dear Savior's birth! It's a time to be with family, to eat all the traditional foods, to smell the usual Christmas smells. I LOVE to walk through the malls during this time to see the decorations and see the lit up faces of people who just found what they needed. The smell of all the department stores. OK, and the gifts too, but not for me, I like to see my kids faces when they open their presents. The good thing is they know the true meaning of Christmas, we even bake a cake that say's "Happy Birthday Jesus"...the day after thanksgiving is the day all the decorations come out! And this year my son was able to help which is so special to me, my baby is getting so big!! Oh and LENSFLARE how I have missed you!!!

HAPPY MONDAY!

38-52 I'm the boss of me

And if I just wanna lay around instead of doing the pile of laundry or stack of dishes the kids left me in the sink then SO BE IT! (I lie, after his I jumped right up and OCD'd my way to happiness.) *sigh* Ahhh bleach.

TGIF, hope everyone ate well last night, I DID, I'm still full!!

Wordless Wednesday Nov 25th

Cheeeeeeeese

When I wake up to the girls arguing, yelling and s-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y boiling my blood, I look to lil man here to brighten my day. I love this kid to pieces. My joy amid the stress of parenting a pre-pubescent and a wanna be pre-pubescent girl AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Happy Tuesday!

The Road

"Well, the road's been rocky along the way
It's been a long, hard haul on the motorway
But if it gets too smooth it's time to call it a day"

--The Kinks

A moment of peace

The smallest things, the shortest times alone delight me! I love these 2!

Have a Blessed Sunday.

Like father like son

This is for you M...He was VERY excited to get the box open, and now he tries to fix the vacuum his other favorite "tool" in the house. Thank u titi, for his b-day gift!!!

Happy Saturday!

37 of 52

TGIF!!!!!!

A lot on his plate

Found this on my desk...written by my husband...thought it was a funny play on the saying "A lot on my plate" He's funny (Sometimes).

Happy Thursday!

Happy Anniversary

The hubby went back to his neck of the woods on Sunday...I left b4 him to go to church and when I returned this is what I found written on my mirror.

Today is our 11 yr wedding anniversary. WOW. 12 yrs altogether.

Happy Anniversary!!


Happy minimal word Wednesday!!! (I can't help myself, always gotta talk)

2 years in the making

Today is sort of bitter sweet for me. 2 years, 9 months and 1 week ago today my husband and I were talking, and we came to the conclusion that life was complete, that the 4 of us were good...the girls were at a great age of self sufficiency and that I would be starting a career full time. Life was good, we were content. A week later we discovered I was pregnant. Guess we spoke too soon. 9 months later (2 yrs ago today) my son was born! I remember the sonogram tech telling us it was a boy I was overjoyed, elated, and over the moon with excitement because my dream was always to have a boy, and after 2 girls I figured it just wasn't God's plan, turns out it was his plan, but in HIS time. I love my baby boy so much and I could not be happier that he was added to this family. Now Life IS good, we are more than content!

Happy Birthday baby boy, love of my life, joy in my world!

Newborn E (Forgive the cell phone pic, my computer crashed a while back and I lost all of his pictures :( my husband sent this to me from his phone, THANK GOD!)

He went from this adorable fat faced monkey to this gorgeous 1 yr old with curly hair

to this handsome 2 yr old today (warning, he was uncooperative for this shot, what a shocker)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY, YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME, AND I AM SO GRATEFUL TO GOD THAT HE LENT YOU TO ME TO RAISE UP IN HIS WAYS. I PRAY I CONTINUE TO DO A GOOD JOB AND THAT YOU GROW UP TO BE A COMPASSIONATE, LOVING, CARING, RESPECTFUL YOUNG MAN!!! MOMMY LOVES HER MONKEY!!!

The Boys

I love moments like these!!

My son LOVES his father, and I am so grateful for that fact! They are going to be best friends and I LOVE that. When M steps out to do anything this lil boy looks everywhere for him, all I hear is "Ma, where's Pa?" Thank you Lord for these 2 important men in my life.

We miss you already babe! See you soon, God willing.

Have a blessed Sunday!

36 of 52

My new house key.

I'm a fan, need I say more?!

Yes I need: 2009 World Champions!!!

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Boy Status

My lil baby boy is no longer a baby. He's turning 2 in 6 days...I have enjoyed these trying years. lol. He is a handful but as my husband loves to remind me; I asked for him. I did. I always used to say "I want a bad lil boy to keep me on my toes"...and that he does! Yesterday I took him to get his hair cut off. If you follow my blog then you know he had long curls that took over his head and face, that I often put into a ponytail. During the process I actually cried. I was able to keep his hair in a ponytail which helped a lil, but as she started cutting he turned into this different person. I've heard hair doesn't make the person but his hair was sort of his identity. Everyone knew him by his hair and eyes. Now his eyes stand out even more which isn't a bad thing, it's just he no longer looks like a baby but a big boy. And I swear he's gotten worse. lol. More hyper, more crazy. Like he was freed. I catch him scratching or rubbing his head looking for his hair from time to time and it's funny. I think I will let it grow again...but we'll see, only time will tell. I LOVE AND MISS MY BABY :(

SO much for wordless wed.

I'm in love...Again!

Hubby came in this weekend and wanted to surprise the girls, so we didn't tell them...and instead he surprised me as well. He asked me to leave the back door open and that he would sneak in as they were in the kitchen eating, so I did that. All of a sudden I hear my girls scream "mommy there's a puppy in the kitchen?!!" I come out from the room, very puzzled and started to think "Oh crap I left the door open per his request and now a dog got in, GREAT, I hope it isn't vicious"...I turn the corner and was greeted by the sweetest lil face I have seen in a long time!!! A pit bull puppy. I have wanted a pit bull since we had one when I was a kid. And let me just say something real quick for all of you out there who just shrieked when you read "pit bull", it's not the dog it's the trainer/owner. We grew up with a pit bull and she NEVER once turned on us, or hurt us in anyway and was in fact a loving protective dog. Mine will be raised just the same. I am in love with this lil one. And after a day and a few hours of deliberating...we finally have a name. I wanted something to represent where I came from (NY) and couldn't think of anything because girls r hard to name...then my parents came over to meet their new granddaughter and gave me the idea about the train that took us home all the time...the Lexington Ave line (6 train)...and so her name is Lexi!! Isn't this the cutest face ever?!?!

HAPPY MONDAY INDEED! Off to play with my new toy, I mean baby!

Best friends in the making

The kids, they r the real reason I came back home. I wanted them to be raised with their grandparents, with their cousins as I was. Especially since they are close in age. This is E and J (Jonah) my adorable lil munchkin nephew. J is not one for PDA but E loves to hug and kiss, which shocks me because when we first moved here I was worried no one would want to watch him cause he was so mean to everyone. LOL. But that's cause he didn't know anyone, now he's all about them. This pic is for u Chuckie and Michelle. PUNCH!!


J seems to take well to the camera, ya think? (He looks like u here Joey):

I can't wait for them to grow together and get into trouble together and become really great friends. Family is so important for me.

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What's everyone getting into this weekend?

My Grandma

As a kid I didn't appreciate age or wisdom but as I've gotten older and have been a part of history myself it has gotten me to thinking. I have 2 grandmothers still alive, but one of them has Alzheimer's and if anything can teach you how short life is or how fragile it is, it's this disease. It breaks my heart every time I call her and she tries to speak to me, knowing she has no idea who she's talking to, to hear relatives in the background coach her on what to say to me, and trying to remind her of who I am, when at one time we had a close relationship.

This woman here is my maternal grandmother she is going to be 83, she still takes walks, cooks, reads, watches and yells at the TV while the Yankee's are playing, does the crossword, and up until a few yrs ago was still working too. I think she has aged beautifully. I've lived overseas for about 13 years and every time I come back to visit she looks the same. Good genes. (SCORE!) lol.

Yesterday I watched her cook one of my MANY favorites...and I started to think about the fact that I know recipes, but I don't know all of hers. Then I started to think about her life and all that I don't know about it, so I started to ask her things like "Where were you when Pearl Harbor was bombed?" I still have so much to learn from her, I'm just glad I am living home again to able to learn it all. Her mother only lived as far as I think 80, so she has already beaten the odds. Plus she has too many grand kids and great grand kids to keep her going. lol. I love you grandma! (Cross on the green and not in between, ;) lol)

Happy Monday.

35-52 Sweet Dreams

"You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, either way I don't want to wake up from you..." -- Beyonce

TGIF!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Blood and Water

You know, I believe that God puts certain people in your life for a reason, you're not always going to get along with them and sometimes they might even despise the site of you, and the worst part is this can even happen within a family. Blood doesn't necessarily mean Bond. You wont always like your relatives; it's a matter of fact. The world is full of people with very different personalities and that's a good thing. This woman right here I met years ago...We were in High School I was 15 she was 14 (WOW for real?!?!), we were standing in front of the classroom looking at our substitute teacher, and she kept saying over and over "I don't want to go to class", That was all I needed to hear; I grabbed her arm and said "Lets go" we cut class that day and have been friends ever since! (Don't be mad pop, lol) I am so grateful to God for placing us in front of that door that day because we have been sisters since then. She truly is my sister and although it's by water not by blood I want her to know that it's true and it doesn't matter where we are in life, how far we live, how often we speak or see each other, it's a bond that is there for life.

Thank you for listening to me whine, complain, cry, laugh, thank you for not staying mad at me when we've argued (like what 2 times in 19 yrs? Awesome. lol.) Thank you for keeping my secrets. Thank you mostly for not judging me. I'm not an emotional person and one day I'd love to say these things to you, but for now I can only write it, since I'm better at writing anyway.

*disclaimer* I do NOT promote cutting class, even if it means you meeting your best friend for life that day!

Have a happy Monday and show some love to that one person that means the most to you too!

34 of 52 ...Alone...

I'm living near my family now, I live in a nice community with many families, my kids are always around me and yet I feel alone.

My family works, they are busy, some live 20 minutes away, some live 30 mins away. Although we are no longer separated by miles and miles of ocean I still feel far away. It takes time to acclimate to a new environment, it takes (ME) an even LONGER time to meet new people that I get a long with. Blame it on the military life I've grown so accustomed to, blame it on all the shows I am watching now with women that travel in groups of 3 or 4 making me miss my girls from each assignment. I miss the talks, the game nights, the laughter, the cries, the fun, the companionship, the help with the kids.

It takes time I know. I am grateful to God for allowing me to be back home, for providing for us to be able to buy a home, for my health and the health of my kids. But God knows I'm a woman and I need to talk, I need companionship from a female, we all do no matter how much we say we don't, it's a crock.

OK the Violin is stopping now, thanx for taking a ride on the pity train, everyone return to your life, nothing to see here, move along.

On a Happy note my BFF is coming to spend the night tonight, we have LOADS to catch up on, so this will be fun. FINALLY an adult conversation where I'm not being judged but understood and empathized with.


TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Family

The ones who are there for you. The ones who make you laugh, The ones who drive you up the wall with all their issues, The ones who are lost, The ones who care for you when you're sick, the ones who celebrate with you, the ones who love you unconditionally. This is my family minus my grandmother who was behind me and a friend behind her. (I'll get u next time, u can't hide. lol).

They came to help me celebrate the fact that I am a 1st time home owner. And I am truly grateful to them. I'm happy to have been born into this family. There isn't a get together we have had that we don't leave there with tears in our eyes from laughing so hard, stomach pains from eating too much, and headaches from trying to talk over each other. No matter what, we are always having a good time, and THIS is what I missed all these years I was away.

I love these people. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me celebrate! For rejoicing with me as I do when each of you hit a milestone or achieve something you are proud of, or that you deserve.

Can't wait for the next event!!!!!

Have a blessed Sunday!

33 of 52 "Why Bother"

I really do wonder if I suffer from depression sometimes, some might even say bi-polar for reasons I can't blame them for. I've been known to do and say some C R A Z Y things during these times. I lay no claim to any of those titles, the Devil is a liar!! But I'm human. There's days when the light shines on me waking me up and I roll over and cover up just like this thinking "WHY BOTHER?!" or "DO I REALLY HAVE TO BE A MOM TODAY?!" But I find my strength in God. He is my rock. Thank you Lord for never failing me, for getting me out of bed on those days that I'd just rather not.

TGIF! House warming tomorrow YAY! I love hanging out with my family.

1st Dance

I don't what else to say about this one. I love it. I love the look on her face, I love how he's leaning forward laughing, and I especially LOVE the way everyone is watching with huge smiles on their faces! She made such a beautiful bride, my once LITTLE baby cousin is now a woman and she filled that dress in all the right places!! Enjoy your lives together Lessett and Titan!

Wordless Wednesday

My lil Romeo

E at my cousins wedding dancing with his sister. I'm in love!

It's Tuesday! Blah.

The Parental Units

Nothing special about this picture except the people in it...no special affects or much retouching. These are the people who made me, 37 years and still going strong, through the grace of God. Not to mention looking QUITE good for their age..I wont say the actual age but I'll just say that they are in their 50's. I am blessed to have them around still as examples of perseverance. I still look to my dad for wisdom, I still care what he thinks, and I look AT him with the eyes of a daddy's girl! Lately I find myself looking at my mom realizing that I DO look like her no matter how much I try to deny it. lol. I look to her for guidance on certain issues that no man can help with. I'm a good blend of them both.