My Grandma

As a kid I didn't appreciate age or wisdom but as I've gotten older and have been a part of history myself it has gotten me to thinking. I have 2 grandmothers still alive, but one of them has Alzheimer's and if anything can teach you how short life is or how fragile it is, it's this disease. It breaks my heart every time I call her and she tries to speak to me, knowing she has no idea who she's talking to, to hear relatives in the background coach her on what to say to me, and trying to remind her of who I am, when at one time we had a close relationship.

This woman here is my maternal grandmother she is going to be 83, she still takes walks, cooks, reads, watches and yells at the TV while the Yankee's are playing, does the crossword, and up until a few yrs ago was still working too. I think she has aged beautifully. I've lived overseas for about 13 years and every time I come back to visit she looks the same. Good genes. (SCORE!) lol.

Yesterday I watched her cook one of my MANY favorites...and I started to think about the fact that I know recipes, but I don't know all of hers. Then I started to think about her life and all that I don't know about it, so I started to ask her things like "Where were you when Pearl Harbor was bombed?" I still have so much to learn from her, I'm just glad I am living home again to able to learn it all. Her mother only lived as far as I think 80, so she has already beaten the odds. Plus she has too many grand kids and great grand kids to keep her going. lol. I love you grandma! (Cross on the green and not in between, ;) lol)

Happy Monday.

35-52 Sweet Dreams

"You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, either way I don't want to wake up from you..." -- Beyonce

TGIF!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Blood and Water

You know, I believe that God puts certain people in your life for a reason, you're not always going to get along with them and sometimes they might even despise the site of you, and the worst part is this can even happen within a family. Blood doesn't necessarily mean Bond. You wont always like your relatives; it's a matter of fact. The world is full of people with very different personalities and that's a good thing. This woman right here I met years ago...We were in High School I was 15 she was 14 (WOW for real?!?!), we were standing in front of the classroom looking at our substitute teacher, and she kept saying over and over "I don't want to go to class", That was all I needed to hear; I grabbed her arm and said "Lets go" we cut class that day and have been friends ever since! (Don't be mad pop, lol) I am so grateful to God for placing us in front of that door that day because we have been sisters since then. She truly is my sister and although it's by water not by blood I want her to know that it's true and it doesn't matter where we are in life, how far we live, how often we speak or see each other, it's a bond that is there for life.

Thank you for listening to me whine, complain, cry, laugh, thank you for not staying mad at me when we've argued (like what 2 times in 19 yrs? Awesome. lol.) Thank you for keeping my secrets. Thank you mostly for not judging me. I'm not an emotional person and one day I'd love to say these things to you, but for now I can only write it, since I'm better at writing anyway.

*disclaimer* I do NOT promote cutting class, even if it means you meeting your best friend for life that day!

Have a happy Monday and show some love to that one person that means the most to you too!

34 of 52 ...Alone...

I'm living near my family now, I live in a nice community with many families, my kids are always around me and yet I feel alone.

My family works, they are busy, some live 20 minutes away, some live 30 mins away. Although we are no longer separated by miles and miles of ocean I still feel far away. It takes time to acclimate to a new environment, it takes (ME) an even LONGER time to meet new people that I get a long with. Blame it on the military life I've grown so accustomed to, blame it on all the shows I am watching now with women that travel in groups of 3 or 4 making me miss my girls from each assignment. I miss the talks, the game nights, the laughter, the cries, the fun, the companionship, the help with the kids.

It takes time I know. I am grateful to God for allowing me to be back home, for providing for us to be able to buy a home, for my health and the health of my kids. But God knows I'm a woman and I need to talk, I need companionship from a female, we all do no matter how much we say we don't, it's a crock.

OK the Violin is stopping now, thanx for taking a ride on the pity train, everyone return to your life, nothing to see here, move along.

On a Happy note my BFF is coming to spend the night tonight, we have LOADS to catch up on, so this will be fun. FINALLY an adult conversation where I'm not being judged but understood and empathized with.


TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Family

The ones who are there for you. The ones who make you laugh, The ones who drive you up the wall with all their issues, The ones who are lost, The ones who care for you when you're sick, the ones who celebrate with you, the ones who love you unconditionally. This is my family minus my grandmother who was behind me and a friend behind her. (I'll get u next time, u can't hide. lol).

They came to help me celebrate the fact that I am a 1st time home owner. And I am truly grateful to them. I'm happy to have been born into this family. There isn't a get together we have had that we don't leave there with tears in our eyes from laughing so hard, stomach pains from eating too much, and headaches from trying to talk over each other. No matter what, we are always having a good time, and THIS is what I missed all these years I was away.

I love these people. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me celebrate! For rejoicing with me as I do when each of you hit a milestone or achieve something you are proud of, or that you deserve.

Can't wait for the next event!!!!!

Have a blessed Sunday!

33 of 52 "Why Bother"

I really do wonder if I suffer from depression sometimes, some might even say bi-polar for reasons I can't blame them for. I've been known to do and say some C R A Z Y things during these times. I lay no claim to any of those titles, the Devil is a liar!! But I'm human. There's days when the light shines on me waking me up and I roll over and cover up just like this thinking "WHY BOTHER?!" or "DO I REALLY HAVE TO BE A MOM TODAY?!" But I find my strength in God. He is my rock. Thank you Lord for never failing me, for getting me out of bed on those days that I'd just rather not.

TGIF! House warming tomorrow YAY! I love hanging out with my family.

1st Dance

I don't what else to say about this one. I love it. I love the look on her face, I love how he's leaning forward laughing, and I especially LOVE the way everyone is watching with huge smiles on their faces! She made such a beautiful bride, my once LITTLE baby cousin is now a woman and she filled that dress in all the right places!! Enjoy your lives together Lessett and Titan!

Wordless Wednesday

My lil Romeo

E at my cousins wedding dancing with his sister. I'm in love!

It's Tuesday! Blah.

The Parental Units

Nothing special about this picture except the people in it...no special affects or much retouching. These are the people who made me, 37 years and still going strong, through the grace of God. Not to mention looking QUITE good for their age..I wont say the actual age but I'll just say that they are in their 50's. I am blessed to have them around still as examples of perseverance. I still look to my dad for wisdom, I still care what he thinks, and I look AT him with the eyes of a daddy's girl! Lately I find myself looking at my mom realizing that I DO look like her no matter how much I try to deny it. lol. I look to her for guidance on certain issues that no man can help with. I'm a good blend of them both.

Wedding Day

Today my cousin is getting married! I love weddings. I'm a big time romantic. I love surprises, and love, and tears of joy, and soft kisses, and warm hugs, handmade gifts etc. I cannot wait to go today. I love watching God join together 2 people who were born for each other. I get very sentimental during these...THE ONLY time I shed tears. I love seeing the grooms face as he watches his bride march down to be joined to him. I love to look at the brides face as she's hear her husbands vows come from his heart. I wasn't fortunate enough to have a wedding so this might be why I love seeing others get married in this way...the white dress, the tuxedo's, the decorated halls, the family gathering to honor these two people who are the most important people of the moment. Speaking of family; this is another reason I look forward to today, I get to be surrounded by my entire family that I have missed so much during my time abroad (12 yrs). I am looking forward to laughing so hard I wake up with stomach pains. And dancing to my fave music (Salsa). Today is a beautiful day, a perfect day for a wedding.
HAPPY SATURDAY!!!!

Congratulations Lessett!

32 of 52

“People only see what they are prepared to see.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Other than that we are blind. Blinded by ignorance, or on purpose. I try to keep an open mind, but can't help but to be shocked at times at what I see. Nothing really prepares you for what lies ahead, not even lessons learned by those before you.

Love is blind...that statement has never been more true than now, now that I am older, now that I know what I want, now that I know what I deserve, now that my eyes have been opened, now that I have aged.

I'm preparing myself to see...